I wrote about this before. But it was insights from an observation: detached, logical, cold. This one is personal.
Trust the Small Voice in Your Heart
This is what you should do in the very first stage of a relationship. Most of us women are receptive with this. This little voice inside will whisper mostly when we’re confused and unsure. When you catch a flash of a strange abundant anger in her eyes. When your heart stops a beat on her cursing terribly on a tiny misfortune. When you involuntarily fidget on her story about her law-breaking uncle. Listen to the voice. Don’t undermine it, don’t shake it off. When she causes you discomfort, whatever small, think about it. If you feel like taking drastic measure, do. Leaving early can save you from a lot of unnecessary damage ahead.
Brace Yourself when It’s the Ugliest
It’s always deafening with abusers. It will be sickeningly intense. It will get ugly. Either she hits you physically or lashes you with verbal insults, she will overwhelm you. You will be cornered, you will be pushed to make mistakes. She will make you feel weak and stupid until you hate yourself when you’re with her. She will bombard you with unfair judgments until you involuntarily forced to admit it, just to stop her digging on you. All about her presence will give you goosebumps. You will feel the prickle of cold sweat in your pores. You will be scared of her. When it happens, just one thing to do: leave.
Just Pay It
Sometimes when you’re already away from her, this problem about money occurs. She may count on how much money she had spent for you and demand it back. She may want the Ipod back, in its box, in a pristine condition. She may want you to pay her back this plane ticket for a holiday she bought for you. When it happens, pay it. If you have the money, just pay it, pay it as soon as can be. Because if you cling to dear money and try to stand your ground, she will beat you senseless over this. And the thing about arguing about money, it’s disgusting. It can turn someone that seemed sweet to be plain scary. And trust me, when an abuser turns plain scary, you just don’t want to be there.
Get Busy
Here I bring you the biggest irony. She hurt you bad, you hurried leaving her, you felt relieved being away from her. But after some time, you might, oddly, miss her. Because more than often, abusers are outwardly charming. She can be drop dead gorgeous, she can be witty and funny, she can be a goddess in bed. Any of her traits that made you fell for her back then, will haunt you. You may want to fly back to her. When it happens, as cliché as it may sound, be sensible and don’t do it. Wait for some time when the urge to call her comes. Count to ten, a hundred, ten thousand, to infinity if it’s needed. Just don’t do it. Don’t. Don’t. DON’T. That feeling is fake. You don’t miss her, you miss being with someone. And she just happens to be your most recent reference. Just get yourself busy. Visit your family. Call your friends. Do your hobby. Hop on the treadmill. Immerse yourself in work. Anything, anything that distracts you from that fake longing feeling to be with your abuser again. You’re away from her now, and that’s the best.
Be Thankful of What You Have
Abusers can make you feel minuscule and meaningless. I tell you, no matter what she say or do makes you less of a great person you are. You’re the beloved daughter of your parents. You’re the life of the party among your friends. You’re the darling of the office, the most brilliant employee your boss thanking heaven everyday for. Or you are the boss herself. You may not be a Miss Universe, but your jawline is perfect, your eyes are sultry, your nose small but cute. Be thankful of what you have. See, all those ugly things she did to you don’t leave a mark. Maybe you're still sad of what happened, but you’re still the great person that you are, and you’re ready to:
Move On
Things happen. How bad it is, it’s over. That chapter of your life is over. After you learn from it, close it. See, you’re a better person now. Go soar, go shine.
Trust the Small Voice in Your Heart
This is what you should do in the very first stage of a relationship. Most of us women are receptive with this. This little voice inside will whisper mostly when we’re confused and unsure. When you catch a flash of a strange abundant anger in her eyes. When your heart stops a beat on her cursing terribly on a tiny misfortune. When you involuntarily fidget on her story about her law-breaking uncle. Listen to the voice. Don’t undermine it, don’t shake it off. When she causes you discomfort, whatever small, think about it. If you feel like taking drastic measure, do. Leaving early can save you from a lot of unnecessary damage ahead.
Brace Yourself when It’s the Ugliest
It’s always deafening with abusers. It will be sickeningly intense. It will get ugly. Either she hits you physically or lashes you with verbal insults, she will overwhelm you. You will be cornered, you will be pushed to make mistakes. She will make you feel weak and stupid until you hate yourself when you’re with her. She will bombard you with unfair judgments until you involuntarily forced to admit it, just to stop her digging on you. All about her presence will give you goosebumps. You will feel the prickle of cold sweat in your pores. You will be scared of her. When it happens, just one thing to do: leave.
Just Pay It
Sometimes when you’re already away from her, this problem about money occurs. She may count on how much money she had spent for you and demand it back. She may want the Ipod back, in its box, in a pristine condition. She may want you to pay her back this plane ticket for a holiday she bought for you. When it happens, pay it. If you have the money, just pay it, pay it as soon as can be. Because if you cling to dear money and try to stand your ground, she will beat you senseless over this. And the thing about arguing about money, it’s disgusting. It can turn someone that seemed sweet to be plain scary. And trust me, when an abuser turns plain scary, you just don’t want to be there.
Get Busy
Here I bring you the biggest irony. She hurt you bad, you hurried leaving her, you felt relieved being away from her. But after some time, you might, oddly, miss her. Because more than often, abusers are outwardly charming. She can be drop dead gorgeous, she can be witty and funny, she can be a goddess in bed. Any of her traits that made you fell for her back then, will haunt you. You may want to fly back to her. When it happens, as cliché as it may sound, be sensible and don’t do it. Wait for some time when the urge to call her comes. Count to ten, a hundred, ten thousand, to infinity if it’s needed. Just don’t do it. Don’t. Don’t. DON’T. That feeling is fake. You don’t miss her, you miss being with someone. And she just happens to be your most recent reference. Just get yourself busy. Visit your family. Call your friends. Do your hobby. Hop on the treadmill. Immerse yourself in work. Anything, anything that distracts you from that fake longing feeling to be with your abuser again. You’re away from her now, and that’s the best.
Be Thankful of What You Have
Abusers can make you feel minuscule and meaningless. I tell you, no matter what she say or do makes you less of a great person you are. You’re the beloved daughter of your parents. You’re the life of the party among your friends. You’re the darling of the office, the most brilliant employee your boss thanking heaven everyday for. Or you are the boss herself. You may not be a Miss Universe, but your jawline is perfect, your eyes are sultry, your nose small but cute. Be thankful of what you have. See, all those ugly things she did to you don’t leave a mark. Maybe you're still sad of what happened, but you’re still the great person that you are, and you’re ready to:
Move On
Things happen. How bad it is, it’s over. That chapter of your life is over. After you learn from it, close it. See, you’re a better person now. Go soar, go shine.
