Sunday, May 27, 2007

Revana – Two Types of Silence: Silence which is Golden and Silence which is of the Lambs

I don’t usually romantically into girls who are not heavy in the feminine side. Butches and androgynes are my buddies, buddies don’t kiss. It takes a very fine androgyne to make me fall. Revana bears that fineness. She’s compassionate, attentive, with the right attitude. You can rely on her, she will take care of you. You can talk to her for hours and she will listen to you. For the first time in my life I really look into someone’s eyes and enjoying her beauty there, instead of devour on over her looks first.

We’re first of all being good friends to each other. We talk, we laugh, no hidden agenda from both sides. She’s really a friend in need, one example is on the mega-flood of Jakarta earlier this year when I was the helpless casualty, she’s there on her cell soothing me. Really appreciate her being there. After a couple of months, we slip into romance, soft and subtle. Before you go “aaahhh”, I tell you, despite all the sweet preamble, we are being girlfriends only for… 3 days. On our much expected first intimate moment together, she suddenly goes silent. Deafening silence, since through it she is telling me she is still so much in love with her ex. So I thoughtfully retreat myself.

After that we are still friends, a very good friend she is, I was once hospitalized and she’s sweetly being there for me. Then I get well and ready to run to my buddy Revana, but then she’s walking away. In silence.

I don’t miss that brief moment of when we’re girlfriends. But what I really missed is the big chunk of our togetherness when we’re good friends. Now I feel her thousands miles away. Maybe it is more to her to be inside that comfortable silence. I respect that each and every bit.

After Revana, I squirm to every word ‘relationship’ spoken.

Revana is one fine woman. I sincerely wish one of these days she will find what she’s looking for.

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